Baby Steps

How to Start a Spiritual Life When Everything Feels Too Complicated

If you look at the entire subject of "spiritual life" and feel overwhelmed, confused, or frustrated, you are not alone.

The moment we try to approach it, we see a massive mountain of history, theology, complicated books, and seemingly endless rules. We feel like we need a Ph.D. just to start.

The good news? You don't have to start at the finish line. Spiritual life isn't about being perfect or understanding every concept; it’s about taking the next simple step.

Part 1: Shift the Focus from Rules to Relationship

The key to unlocking a less stressful spiritual journey is changing your perspective. When you feel overwhelmed, try to remember these two shifts:

1. Focus on Starting, Not Understanding

Stop looking at the entire mountain and just look at the trail right in front of your feet.

You don't need to have all the answers before you begin. The goal is to build a habit of connection, not a library of knowledge. Give yourself permission to be confused, messy, and totally honest.

2. It’s a Relationship, Not a Homework Assignment

Often, we approach faith like a difficult college course that requires intense study before we can participate. But the whole purpose of a spiritual life is to find a loving, restoring relationship with God.

Think of it like a new friendship. You don't hand your new friend a 66-volume biography and tell them to study up before they can talk to you. You just start talking. Grace means you are accepted as you are, right now—no cleanup or prerequisites necessary.

Part 2: Demystifying the Bible

The Bible is often the number one roadblock. It feels ancient, dense, and easy to misunderstand. That’s because people try to read it like an instruction manual, starting at page one (and promptly quitting after Leviticus). The simplest way to start is to treat it like a story.

Step 1: Start with the Heart of the Story

Skip the heavy stuff and go straight to the Gospels. These four books (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) tell the story of Jesus’s life.

• Recommendation: Start with the Gospel of Mark. It is a quick, action-packed account that gets straight to the point. The Gospel of John is also an excellent choice; it's more personal and focuses deeply on who Jesus claimed to be.

Step 2: Commit to a Baby Step

Don't aim for a chapter. Don't aim for ten pages. Aim for something you absolutely cannot fail at.

• Tell yourself you are only going to read one paragraph a day. That’s it.

• The goal right now isn't information overload; it’s familiarity. You're just getting comfortable holding the book and seeing the words.

Part 3: Simple, Real-Life Prayer

If spiritual life is a relationship, then prayer is the conversation. It doesn't need to be formal or fancy—it just needs to be honest.

Here are three low-pressure ways to practice connecting, even when you feel too busy or confused:

1. The "Open Journal" Method

Think of this as permission to empty your mind. You don't have to use specific religious language; you just need to be completely real.

• How it works: Talk out loud or in your head about everything you are currently thinking or worried about. This is permission to complain, doubt, or admit total confusion.

• A good starter: "God, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm worried about my budget, and I'm still not even sure you're listening, but I'm talking to you anyway. Help me with this stress."

• The benefit: It builds the habit of vulnerability and prevents you from carrying mental burdens alone.

2. The "Stoplight" Prayer

This is for people who feel too busy to ever find time for prayer.

• How it works: Take advantage of small, forced moments of downtime. Whenever you hit a red light, pause for two breaths.

• The Script: During that pause, say one of these three things: "Thank you," "Help me," or "I need guidance."

• The benefit: It teaches you that connection isn't about scheduling an hour; it’s about checking in frequently throughout your normal day.

3. The "Focus on One" Method

If praying for the whole world feels overwhelming, narrow your focus.

• How it works: For the entire day, choose one specific, tangible person or situation to hold in your mind whenever you think about praying.

• The Script: "Today, I'm just praying for my friend Sarah, who is having a tough week. That’s it. Nothing else."

• The benefit: It makes prayer practical and achievable, preventing the overwhelming sense of responsibility for problems you can't control.

Your Next Small Step

If you're still feeling overwhelmed, try this simple, low-pressure challenge: For the next three days, spend five minutes saying this out loud or in your head: "God, I'm feeling overwhelmed and confused, but I’m open to you. Show me the next small step."

That's all you have to do. The spiritual journey is a marathon, not a sprint, and it only requires one good step forward at a time.